My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
me + whiskey = a bad person
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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