Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize