Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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