He felt like a one man threesome
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
