we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
