Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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