lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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