Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
