New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
