we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
