apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
