I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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