im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
there is glitter all over my balls
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
