Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
