cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
