just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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