Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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