are you so shy because you have an std?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
