no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
