If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
