Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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