Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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