Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize