Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
