Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
