I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
