They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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