Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
