your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
