Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
