Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
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