Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
