i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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