I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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