Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
