I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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