I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
