Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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