And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
