It would be one hovered percent delicioui
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
