I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
