You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
