You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I deserve this hangover.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
