Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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