I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
how drunk are you?
Several
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
