I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
