white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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