So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
