Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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