They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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