Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
