i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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