I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
