I'm gonna have a badass scar
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize