if i can run in heels then i can drive
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
