Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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