Where is the hickey?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
