Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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