woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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