They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
