in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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