How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
