And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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