i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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