We're facebook friends in real life
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
