okay pat passed out under dana's car
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
