i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
