Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
