Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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