Your tits are I can't wait for
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
